a FuLfIliNg lIfE

[[* iF i cOuLd jUz hoLd u... tHe wOrLd wOuLd eXisT 4 uS... onLy Us... iN dAt iNsTanT... & i'LL nV leT gO... *]]

* pRiDe oF My LiFe *


mE... jUst mE::

Name: stan
Age: 21
Education: struggling thru uni
Location: sG
Interests: magic & music
Dislikes: anything awful
Likes: everyting else
Status: sIngLe... beEn sO 4 rEaLi lOnG



mAiN sEarChEr

mY fRiEnDsTeR

a gLiMpsE oF tHe pAsT::

bIogRapHieZ oF gReaT pEepZ::
pLacEs i cAnNoT bE wIthOuT::
lYrIcS 2 mY fAvE sONgS::



sTaN's sIaoZ-aBt sOnG oF tHe wEek::

*hAnD maGiC*











pAst cHaRt hIts::

cArols bY aYuMi hAmasAkI

七里香 bY jAy cHoU

漂白的心 bY jOey yUnG

sNoW fRoM dAvId cOpPerFieLd

海盗 By jOLiN tSaI

mIrAcLes bY kEnNy G

敖包相会 by 12 gIrLs bAnD

tHinK oF mE fRoM pHaNtOm oF tHe oPerA

eVerYtImE bY bRitNey sPeaRs

想爱 bY wAx

iNjuRy bY hAL

dEaReSt bY aYumI hAmAsaKi

i'LL sTaNd bY yOu bY tHe pRetEndErS

真心只爱你 bY 蔡小虎 & 龙千玉

轨迹 bY jAy cHou

rOmAncE d'aMoUr bY rIchArD aBeL

gRanDpA's aCeS bY dAvId cOpPerFiELd

如果一个女人 bY sAmMi cHenG

同类 bY sTefAniE sUn

美丽心情 By RuRu

假如 bY SHIN

不想你也难 bY sTeLLa cHanG

aLmOsT hErE bY bRiAn mCfaDdeN & deLtA GoOdrEm

fOrEvER iN LovE bY syLvEr

红楼梦引子 fRoM a DrEam oF rEd maNsiOnS

fAcE tO faCe bY fUtuRe tRaNcE uNiTeD

sEcuRitY bY jOsS sToNe

千年之恋 bY FIR

sPaCe meLoDy bY LunA pArK

jeWeL sOnG bY boA

守候 By 5566

水月 bY 于涛

最初的梦想 bY 范玮琪

mOonLigHt sHadOw bY gRoOvE cOveRagE

你的眼睛 bY pAndA & vaLeN

十年 bY eAsoN cHaN

爱你无条件 bY 黄乙玲

一千零一夜 bY sAmueL tOi

sUtEkI dA nE (piAnO) bY riKkI

大城大事 by miRiaM cHeunG

海阔天空 bY bEyOnD

其实你不懂我的心 bY 童安格

oNcE in a LifEtiMe bY gRegOrIaN

无尽的爱 bY jAcKiE cHan & kIm hEe sUn

生死相许 bY LeON LaI & pRiSciLLa cHaN

彩虹 眼泪 bY sWeEtY

LoSt wiThOuT yOu bY dELtA gOoDrEm

你怎么舍得我难过 bY 黄品源

走路去纽约 bY tAozI


Monday, January 31, 2005


oh btw any1 wans cute lil teddies on vday can juz drop me n email or... of coz... sms me...
i'll gif the pics & respective prices... real cheap...
can bargain a 10% from the suppliers if u order b4 5th feb...



LurVebEiNgwiFu
1:40 am

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Sunday, January 30, 2005


we all get a lil sensitive & worried when in love

i dunno how i'm gonna pass the coming week...
kinda wasted my weekend juz liddat...
haiz~... 2day actuali got sth liaoz... but i look here look there...
decided it juz wasn't fitting enuf 4 her... shall go get sth else...
i'll juz go shopping & shopping bahz... hopefully can chance upon sth reali meaningful...



LurVebEiNgwiFu
10:27 pm

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got a canon pixma iP1000 yest 4 only 89 bucks... not a bad deal ehz?
but... felt like sth was missing yest. ...
i shopped & shopped & shopped but din manage 2 buy anyting dat was appropriate...
sum more tink the person misunderstood my last msg...
oh no... 1 full week ahead... no holidays nth... jia lat...
siao liaoz... how 2 get thru 5 days w/o it...?


她的痴情固然令人起敬... 却又不禁让人为她可惜...


可真苦了我...



LurVebEiNgwiFu
2:36 pm

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Friday, January 28, 2005


Oh, why you look so sad? Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now.
Don't be ashamed to cry, let me see you through
Cause I've seen the dark side too.
When the night falls on you, you don't know what to do,
Nothing you confess could make me love you less
I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.

So, if you're mad get mad, don't hold it all inside,
Come on and talk to me now.
And hey, what you got to hide? I get angry too
But I'm alot like you.
When you're standing at the crossroads, don't know which path to choose,
Let me come along, cause even if your wrong
I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.
Take me into your darkest hour, and I'll never desert you.
I'll stand by you.

And when, when the night falls on you baby, you're feeling all alone,
You won't be on your own, I'll stand by you. I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you. I'll stand by you
Take me in into your darkest hour and I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you.

DEFINITELY.



LurVebEiNgwiFu
11:12 pm

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Tuesday, January 25, 2005


心中烦恼与感慨谁人知晓? 却又能说与谁人知?
收到偌多人的安慰... 凡阅此日记者大概都误会了... 我前些日子的不开心是出于心痛昔日的误会与恩怨...
没事的...
吾又绝对不能完全解说澄清... 否则真毁了一切...
难道这是缘分? 哈哈... 惜缘... 好个惜缘...


别人的爱情故事
听来悱恻缠绵
真有那么的美
教人甘愿为它去冒险

爱情的苦辣酸甜
是否都要尝遍
才知道那滋味
让人无时无刻不想念



LurVebEiNgwiFu
1:09 am

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Saturday, January 22, 2005


原来无奈亦是值得悲哀的...
好无助的感觉... 看着朋友愁眉苦脸为情所困却连一句话儿都劝慰不上.
也不知她是否认为我多管闲事, 更不知她是否觉得我期期艾艾的不好说话... 也许我和她根本未到那能吐露心事的境界... 不过我真的好想帮上点儿忙...
唉... 对不起...

抽刀断水水更流 举杯消愁愁更愁
人生在世不称意 明朝散发弄扁舟...



LurVebEiNgwiFu
11:55 pm

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Sunday, January 16, 2005


quote of the month: "不要跟Stanley讲剪头发. 对他剪头发是一种罪..."
hahaz... my fren told my colleague dat earlier diz week...
damn right he is.

i juz swept half a range of hair care products off the shelves earlier 2day...
was actuali flitting amongst shops 4 a new brand called SYOSS... imported from japan.
but heard the stylist say sebastian better 4 my hair type... so din buy.
supposedly SYOSS the str8 care is very gd 4 rebonded hair... excellent reviews so far...
can't wait 4 my 10-day holiday 2 start...



LurVebEiNgwiFu
10:37 pm

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Thursday, January 13, 2005


been reali busy in camp diz week... i get pretty easily frustrated @ times.
yet i haf 2 fight 2 keep a str8 face. no... a smiling face...
i dun wanna affect my very gd fren there who is happily attached 2 his also very pretty girlfren...
i reali wish i can pour out all i feel 2 sum1... but no1's here 2 listen... or read even... 4 dat matter.
but during every free time & b4 slping... when i wake up... itz only normal dat i'd tink of her & the terrible events.
i thot of the time when she said dat wif me she knew i'd protect her & not let her come 2 harm... & the way she smiled @ me from behind the board in the mrt station...
i thot of the time she looked so shyly @ me way b4 i managed 2 walk 2 her...
i thot of the time @ the shopping centre wif her frenz when she let them walk in front & lagged behind wif me... she was everyting 2 me... & i finally felt i was 2 her too...
i thot of dat time after her training when she told me not 2 walk too close 2 her coz she smelt bad...
i din noe wad 2 reply dat time... i'd be lying thru my teeth if i said she smelt gd all the time... & i did so wan 2 be truthful.
but all the same... i knew i din mind... in fact i'd nv be bothered abt whether she smelt fragrant or revolting...
well i'm very much sum1 repulsive too... & i actuali saw her walking away dat day when we split... i actuali stood there staring @ her back fade into the distance... & i knew tings wld nv be the same again.
they'll nv be the same again...



LurVebEiNgwiFu
10:07 pm

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Sunday, January 09, 2005


幾度同じ別れを繰り返して
いったなら気付くだろう 永遠なんてない事
何かを犠牲にして生きていく難しさ
もう解り過ぎる程 解ってしまっていた

My fairy tale.... My fairy land....
別れ行く物語りを ここにひとつ刻んでいくだろう
今までの思い出 もう開かぬように

いつの間にか幸せだったあの日が
こんなにも脆い自分締め付けていくようだよ
きっとあの頃やがて来る別れも見えず
ただそはにいる事で全てが満たされてた

My fairy tale.... My fairy land.....
サヨナラも害えないまま
あなたのその後ろ姿はもう見えなくなった.....

二度ともう会えなくても これが最後になるとしても
楽しかった日々も泣きあった夜もずっと忘れないで....

My fairy tale.... My fairy land.....
遠ざかっていく全てが
My fairy tale....My fairy land.....
別れ行く物語りは
確かに今刻んでいきながら 過去のものになった
あなたはもういない....



*tRaNsLatIoN*
經歷了幾度同樣的別離
究竟要到何時才能明瞭 這世上沒有永恆
必須有所犧牲才能夠生存的難處
我已經了解到 不能夠了解更多

My fairy tale....My fairy land.....
逐漸遠去的故事 讓我將它深深刻畫在這裡
為了讓至今的回憶 從此不再打開

曾經是那般幸福的往日時光
如今是如此緊緊束縛著脆弱的我
想來是當時我看不見遲早將至的別離
只要能夠和你在一起便感覺心滿意足

My fairy tale....My fairy land.....
甚至來不及說再見
已經看不見你遠去的背影

即使再也無法相見 即使這就是最後
也請別忘記 那些快樂的時光與心碎的夜.....

My fairy tale....My fairy land.....
漸去漸遠的一切
My fairy tale....My fairy land.....
逐漸遠去的故事
此刻將它深深刻畫在這裡 讓它成為過去

你已不在這裡.....







LurVebEiNgwiFu
11:21 pm

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i went 2 occ 2 bowl.
i went past her hse...
i remember the days @ store room 1... & on level 6 of her block... & me walking out alone 2 the busstop... & i met diz madman once & how i called her 2 tell her how terrified i was...
i remember the day she fed me fries @ the mcdonald's... i remember her & i walking in the supermart looking 4 sth 4 me 2 eat whilst she were talking abt her ogl henry...
i thot of dat time she accepted me... she asked me 2 walk in front & she stuffed dat heart into my pocket... i told myself... i'd be reali reali gd 2 her.
i'm sorry... i tink i did kinda mistreat her dat time.
if i cud be given the chance... i'd nv do it again.
i did s she said... i'm following my heart.
she may haf 4gotten me... or she choose not 2 tink of them... but i nv will. the memory's still fresh like yesterday...


It's all because of you,
I'm feeling sad and blue
You went away,
Now my life is just a rainy day and I love you so,
How much you'll never know
You've gone away and left me lonely.

Untouchable memories
Seem to keep haunting me
Another love so true,
That once turned all my gray skies blue
But you disappeared,
Now my eyes are filled with tears
And I'm wishing you were here
With me soaked with love all my thoughts of you
Now that you're gone I just don't know what to do
If only you were here,
You'd wash away my tears
The sun would shine,
Once again you'll be mine all mine



LurVebEiNgwiFu
9:47 pm

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do u noe...?
i'm reali scared...
i'm scared i'll nv be able 2 c u again.
i'm scared i'll nv be able 2 be frenz wif u.
i'm scared ur fren will disapprove of us talking together again if we ever do talk...
& i'm reali scared of losing even the frenship we had 4ever...



LurVebEiNgwiFu
3:15 am

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i've reached the pt where i reali dunno wad 2 say.

if only u noe wad i did 2 try & protect u.
if only u knew i cared...
i'm so sorry abt wad happened... & i'll do wadeva i can 2 keep u from harm & unneccesary trouble... whether u noe it... or not.
i hope u'll noe 1 day... it was reali all juz a misunderstanding.



LurVebEiNgwiFu
3:08 am

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Wednesday, January 05, 2005


i've always hoped 4 a chance 2 c u... in the streets...
maybe juz a glimpse... or juz a slight nod... or better we cud juz talk...
i nv knew dat staying in ny wud be w/o u den... but i'll nv regret staying... @ least i got 2 c u... unlike now. after all... u were the reason i stayed.

i wonder if we can ever have the chance to smile at each other again.

feelin reali blue...


Notice me
Take my hand
Why are we
Strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me?

Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby

I make believe
That you are here
It's the only way
I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy

And everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby

I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song is my sorry



LurVebEiNgwiFu
7:00 pm

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i added a chinese chess set 2day... the table looks reali oriental...
haiz~... i dunno y... itz been going on 4 a long long time... despite my joking wif my frenz... i haf 2 finally write it here. in my trustworthy bloggie. i can't bottle it up anymore... i tink i'll go mad or sth.
i've been tinking of diz gurl...
few noe of wad happened... & itz been reali long... nearly 3 yrs... i wonder how she is now...
i dunno if she remembers... i'd rather she 4get & erase dat memory dan 2 remember wad happened... & feel the hostility towards me...
i dunno wad happened... but dat fateful day 2 yrs ago i suddenly recalled all the timez i shared wif her... & how blur we were together dat time... maybe i juz wasn't mature enuf den... & i was much too self-centred...
it muz be the damn song... brought back all the recollections.
i remember the last time i saw u... u were wif diz other guy liaoz... therez juz so much i wanna say 2 u... but...
if i cud ever say 1 ting... juz 1 ting 2 u...

i din say wad u heard from the other person... i'm not such n egoistic person... i swear i nv said it... neither din i say anyting dat is in any way related to dat meaning...
i reali treasure those memories i shared wif u... i still pray 4 u 2 be happy & healthy...
i noe therez probably no chance of me taking care of u again... nor to reach out & hold ur warm hand in mine again... but i reali miss the way u called me *little one*...
i dunno how the misunderstanding came abt... nor which person slandered me... i guess itz juz fate i've gotta undergo diz...

even s i tink of diz... tears blur out my vision...
take care of yaself. always.




It's been a long, long time since I looked into the mirror
I guess that I was blind
Now my reflection's getting clearer
Now that you're gone things will never be the same again


You know that silence is loud when all you hear is your heart
And I wanted so badly just to be a part of something strong and true
But I was scared and left it all behind


I never will forget that look upon your face
How you turned away and left without a trace
But I understand that you did what you had to do
And I thank you



LurVebEiNgwiFu
1:02 am

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Monday, January 03, 2005


2day on mc... stayed @ home all the way siahz...
been reading up a bit on my magic.
& did up my studio again. added a misty effect, a reali mystical-looking 'yin-yang' table lamp & a production box.
haha... now the other table looks reali like some fortune-teller's table...



LurVebEiNgwiFu
10:27 pm

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home sweet home.

i'm back from overseas.
saw a lot... learnt a lot... & of coz... bought a lot.
lolz... lotsa updates 4 my studio... lotsa clothes... lotsa... lotsa...
actuali got a lot 2 write one... abt the events... abt the barang barang... abt the girls... abt the food... abt the unwanted sights!... & more...
but i 4got liaoz... & lazy 2 type larhz...



LurVebEiNgwiFu
1:18 am

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bEaR bOuqUet... 4 mY LucKy sTaR *


ciG tHru HaLf doLLaR


mY nEw bOwLinG BaLL


beAutIfuL pIc oF dOlpHinS


mY diViNe pOwEr cRysTaL